I guess the idea to rob the bank came to me and Eddie sometime Saturday. I remember we was hanging around the pool hall and Eddie was saying how he’d read where these guys knocked over this bank and how easy it was to do and all. So he decided it would be a good way to get rich.

    Well, I wasn’t too keen on the idea myself, but Eddie sort of talks me into it. He asked me if I have any kind of a weapon that we could use. I remembered I had a slingshot, but he didn’t think that would be too good a thing to use to hold up a bank. So we think about if for awhile. Finally we remember that his old man has a flintlock hanging over the fireplace in his den. It didn’t have any ammunition, but we didn’t figure that we’d need it anyway. We weren’t planning to use it on anybody.

    I said my little brother had a couple of Halloween masks that we could wear over our faces so as nobody would recognize us. Being as this was such a small town and we were pretty well known as small towns go.

    Eddie said we’d have to case the bank and all like they do in the movies to study all its habits. Then we would know when would be the best time to knock it over. When there’s nobody around except the old guard and the tellers. I thought how this sounded like a good idea. So we went and staked it out for a couple of days and found out when would be the best time. Then we went over to Eddie’s house and drew plans about how we were going to do this and set up a time schedule and all.

    Then Eddie thought we needed a plan of the inside of the bank. But neither of us knew too well what it looked like being as how we didn’t have much occasion to go inside. I was only in there a couple of times before. Once to get a calendar and another time when I got a silver dollar for Christmas and I wanted the paper kind. Finally Eddie hits on this idea of how we could get fifty pennies and take them into the bank for a fifty cent piece. This would give us a chance to look the place over and then we’d know better how to rob it. We pooled our dough and came up with fourteen pennies, and I had a dollar bill. So Eddie said I had to go out and change that dollar bill. He said I could go to the drug store and buy a candy bar and ask for the change in pennies.

    So I said well why should I have to do it? Who was the brains of this outfit anyway? We never really decided that. He said he thought of the idea of knocking the bank over and how to get the pennies and all. But if I had any ideas about taking over we could draw straws. Well, we did and he got the short one which meant he was the brains. I guess that was only right seeing as he got C’s and D’s in school, which was better than me.

    So I went to the drug store and bought a Snickers bar and told the lady I wanted the change in pennies. She looked at me like I was screwy or something, but she gave me all these pennies like I told her. Well, me and Eddie wrapped the pennies and I took them down to the bank and cashed them for a fifty cent piece. When we got outside Eddie was real excited. He said how easy it would be to rob the bank because everything was out in the open. He said the old guard doesn’t pay any attention to anybody.

    We went back to Eddie’s house and he wrote down a bunch of things about the bank and drew all these diagrams. Then he said Tuesday afternoon at 2:00 PM was the best time because nobody much was going in there then. And besides in this movie he saw they robbed the bank then and got away easy.

    I was supposed to drive the car and park it by the bank so we could get away fast when he came out with the money. He said he would walk down the street to the bank and I was to park the car in the next block and watch. Just before he went in he would flip his cigarette like they did in this movie. Then I would drive up and park right next to the bank. After I parked I would stand just inside the bank door and cover him with the gun.

    I said to him that the car we had wasn’t too good for a getaway because it wouldn’t go much over thirty-five. I figured how these police cars could go over a hundred if they’re chasing somebody. But he said this didn’t matter because we was going to be far enough away anyhow by the time the cops got in on it. He said we could drive slow and casual and nobody would pay any attention to two guys riding around in a beat up jalopy. And besides, in this movie he saw the bank robbers were on horseback and didn’t go no thirty-five miles an hour.

    Well, I really didn’t think this was the best idea he had ever had, but he was the brains of the outfit so I couldn’t do much about it. He said we’d better not wear masks after all because we’d get enough money to get clear out of the country and it wouldn’t matter if they knew who we were. And besides, wearing Halloween masks in broad daylight in a bank like that how people might get suspicious. Well, this made sense to me so I told him Okay.

    Come Tuesday I drove over to Eddie’s house and we got the flintlock out of his old man’s den. Then we started downtown where we ate lunch. I have to admit I was getting a little jumpy and I told Eddie I didn’t think we should go through with it. But Eddie said what was I scared of anyway? He was the one that was taking all the chances going into the bank. All I had to do was stand by the door and cover him.

    So I pulled the jalopy up next to the bank and parked it. Next, I put the flintlock under my coat and went inside. Eddie was standing right by the teller’s window, but nobody was paying him any attention. Instead everybody started rushing right at me. I was just about to hightail it out of there when this old guy with a fat cigar caught up to me. I’m scared stiff by now, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He started patting me on the back and talking nonsense about how proud he is to welcome me to the bank. Then this babe came up and said how lucky I am to be the one millionth customer to come into the bank. She handed me a brand new fifty dollar bill and the old guy patted me on the back some more. After that, two good looking girls in tight skirts gave me some ball point pens, tee shirts with the bank’s name on them and a gift certificate to a fancy restaurant here in town. I didn’t know what to do, so I said thanks a lot and stuff like that. Then some guy with a camera took some pictures of me with the girls draped around my neck. He said I’d be in tomorrow’s paper.

    By the time all this ruckus was over I noticed that Eddie was gone. So I pretended like I only came into the bank to get some penny wrappers. The old guy with the fat cigar looked at me like I was a bum or something. So I took the penny wrappers and left.

    Eddie was sitting in the car when I got out and he was real mad. I told him I couldn’t help it if I was the one millionth customer and all. And if he wanted I’d split the fifty with him. And he could have the certificate to the restaurant, too, being as how I didn’t have the duds to wear to it. So he finally got over his mad and said we could try again next week. But I told him no. Somehow it just don’t seem right to rob a bank that gives away calendars and fifty dollar bills.