AccidentOfDeath

Tim Sheard has sold over 50 short mystery stories to several magazines, including the online publication Blue Murder. His debut mystery novel, THIS WON'T HURT A BIT, will be published by Creative Arts in October. The novel grew out of his 30 years' work as a critical care nurse, where he wrapped many a corpse, and consoled many grieving families. Writing is his way of bandaging the wounds of a painful line of work.

August 3, 1976

Hi mom! Hi dad! We had so much fun at the campfire! The counselors told skary stories and made us all scream! and then we had marshmalows and gramm crackers. and we all said we could never get to sleep but we did.

Tell that stinky Billy stay out of my room! i miss you all a hole lot and I hope you come visit me in camp. will dad come too? Tell him he has to, it will make him smile all over (and me too of course).

love and kisses!!!!

judy

18 NOV 83

What is my life? A lens out of focus. A voice muffled and far away. Everything is murky and indistinct. Washed out. Except it is my feelings that are dulled. I haven’t any energy at all. Haven’t any enthusiasm...for anything.

When I’m caught in this THING, food has no flavor, even when it is covered with salt. Every dish that Virginia makes tastes the same, and she is a top-notch cook. Graduate of the Cordon Bleu School of Paris.

But it all tastes the same to me now.

21 Nov 83

I never notice if it’s sunny or raining.

It seems that every day is gray, like a play by Beckett.

9 DEC 83

It is such a heavy, dull dragging sensation, this depression. At times I imagine that I am a creature from a small planet who has just landed on earth. It requires enormous effort just to walk up the steps to the department. The distance from my office to the lecture room seems infinitely long. Impossible to traverse. A not surprising metaphor for an astronomer, I suppose.

I used to feel a wonderful peace when I stared out into the vast reaches of space. It seemed to be the only place where I could stretch my limbs and get truly comfortable. The silence seemed to contain a faint heavenly music - the angels’ choir, Virginia used to say. Now when I look at the stars they are mute and indifferent. Cold diamonds set in a frigid fold.

Like me, the stars seem sad.

12 Dec 83

I would hate this condition, I would want to crush it and bury it, if I weren’t so totally indifferent. To everything. I only keep this diary because Dr. Craddock has asked me, and we mustn’t disappoint the doctor, must we?

15 DEC 83

What is it that keeps me returning to the classroom day after day? OBLIGATIONS! If it were not for my students I would have no reason to get dressed and shaved and go to work.

I never shave on the weekends anymore. That way I can avoid the mirror.

Nor do I wash on the weekends. The winter cold and the gray skies conceal my poor hygiene, or at least I like to think they do. My nails grow long-I should clip them, but I cannot summon energy enough to do the job.

Sometimes Virginia comments about my appearance, gently, but I cannot bring myself to shave for her. Another one of my innumerable failures.

I should take Judy and Billy out to a movie or the new mall. It takes so little to make them smile, especially Judy. I read that note from her when she was a little girl away at camp - why did I keep it?

To remind myself what it is like to be happy? Or to remind myself how much I have failed my children.

17 DEC 83

For the sake of my students I make myself look presentable. I try to sound prepared for my lectures and for their questions, but surely they see through me. They aren’t children anymore, they are evolving adults.

I see them talking among themselves when I’ve been rambling on, losing my train of thought. Out of orbit. I should upate my notes, there’s so much new data with all the new radio telescopes, but I haven’t the energy.

Thank the gods for tenure. I should wither away and die without my chair at Burgoyne?

21 DEC 83

Last night was so sorrowful for Virginia. She had bought a new sexy nightgown a new perfume as well. And when she put her arms and her leg around me, and I could smell her sweet desire, I was so inert, so indifferent, so impotent that I just wanted to shut my eyes and sleep and not be bothered.

Later I could feel the bed trembling ever so gently as she cried. I wanted to reach out to her, but the gulf between us was a hundred light-years across.

She finally cried herself to sleep, and I sat up in the study looking out on the frozen yard. I never even fell asleep. My days are the same, sleepwalking among the living.

18 FEB 84

I do believe the medication is beginning to work. It’s been seven weeks now. I’m glad I agreed to take that "rest" over the winter break. The place wasn’t too bad - no padded walls! Really, the staff was first rate. I should write a letter to the CEO. Will add it to my list.

Thank god the new students are eager and trusting. I may live through another semester!

6 MARCH 84

When I awoke this morning I went to the window and opened it and breathed in the chilly air. The lilac bush was beginning to bloom, the one I planted for Judith when she was born, and I smiled remembering that and thinking what a big girl she’s become.

When was the last time I smiled. 1942? Well, perhaps not that long.

9 MARCH 84

Shelly, one of my brightest students, was very kind to me today. Such a lovely girl. Such a divine, hourglass figure, I wished I were a thousand grains of sand!

Now if only Billy will find a girl like that when he’s older.

Shelly asked had I been ill. I was in my office chair, my eyes were at the level of her breasts. She was wearing a dangerously tight sweater and no bra. Such an earthy, unadorned beauty!

After she left the exquisite curve of her breasts lingered in my thoughts like echoes on a glass developing plate. It was marvelous to feel desire again. Simply marvelous!

I do believe my evening lecture was rather good.

2 APRIL 84

Good days and bad, but isn’t the natural course for depression? I have low moments and flickers of joy. Yet and all, it’s a damned bit better to be hopeful at least part of the day than gloomy the whole twenty-four.

I pruned the rose bushes and gave them a good soaking-it has been a dry winter. I hope we don’t have another water shortage. I cut my finger on the thorns and didn’t care. This past year I’d forgotten what it was like to feel alive. I’ve survived a long winter, I am healthy (except for the depression) and tenured, and perhaps not a complete failure after all.

8 APRIL 84

Yesterday I looked over our IRA’s with Virginia. We talked about what we’d do after my retirement. A long way off, to be sure, but it’s important to plan for such things. Virginia was delighted to hear me looking ahead. We considered what the house might bring in fifteen years, and where we might go to live.

Virginia put her arms around me and told me Sherwood, why not move to Willow Lake? She wants country living; I have a taste for something cosmopolitan, but we have time enough to work it out.

Virginia is going to research the housing markets near the coast.

I wouldn’t mind leaving Burgoyne. I came here for graduate work and stayed on to teach, but really, I have no love for the town.

If one believes in the future, one cannot be completely without hope, can one?

3 MAY 84

Will I ever be really free from this gray gloom? It’s so deeply rooted, like a cancer. My heart never seems to be free from that melancholy undertow.

I’ve read about the underground coal fires in Pennsylvania. They smolder for years. Decades. Then they flare up. There’s a cave-in, and whole houses, entire families, are swallowed up and consumed by fire.

That’s depression.

I worry that Billy will end up like me. The sins of the father. Judith has such a zest for living, and she’s so in touch with living things. With animals, children, her great Aunt Catherine. She has her mother’s optimism, but Billy...Like me, he reads too many books.

As I walked to the campus this morning I came upon a Mockingbird in a tree and I stopped to listen. That little bird had an amazing repertoire of joyful songs. I decided to imitate the look of a happy man.

Dr. Craddock is right. I am definitely getting better.

15 MAY 84

I took Virginia to Crescent Cove for a get-away weekend. She was most surprised. We spoke to a real estate agent, who showed us a lovely cottage overlooking the bay. She has done a mountain of research. Housing prices, mortgage rates, population trends. She has become quite the expert in the housing market.

Virginia pointed out the clear sky, saying, "Sherwood, it’s perfect for star gazing." I surprised her by saying that I would rather gaze on her face. She blushed like a schoolgirl. That night we made love three times. We hadn’t done that since our honeymoon!

I am a lucky man.

MEMO

To: Captain Joshua Williams
From: Officer Robert Sturges
Re: Accident Report #786343

I have been back to the MVA scene on Toliver Road two times more. In a four-mile stretch of road I noted the remains of several dead animals. These include a skunk, a possum and two raccoons. I did not see any deer.

I also talked to several residents. They confirmed that there are often deer crossing at night on Toliver Road, especially at this time of year.

It looks to me as if the tire blew out after the victim’s car left the road, although the skid marks are not conclusive on this (see pictures). The driver could definitely have lost control trying to avoid hitting a deer or an other animal, but without an eyewitness I don't think we will ever know for sure. The MVA was most likely an accident, in my opinion.

I will bring the complete file to the coroner's inquest on June 10.

Robert Sturges

Mantua County Police
June 4, 1984

Dr. Reuven Barnfeldman
Runnymeade Therapeutic Group
Klaxon Building, 2nd Floor 1212 Hilltop Avenue
Runnymeade, MA 64332

June 6, 1984

Dr. Nelson Craddock
Mantua County Coroner
Runnymeade Town Centre Bldg
Runnymeade, MA

Dear Dr. Craddock,

After lengthy consultation with my attorney, I am releasing to your office a copy of the diary of the late Professor Sherwood Quine, in the trust that you will respect the confidentiality of the psychiatrist-client relationship.

I hope that the enclosed narrative will assist you in reaching a determination regarding Prof. Quine’s unfortunate death on June 3, 1984.

The notes of my sessions with Prof. Quine are privileged information, and I am reluctant to release them to you at this point in time without permission from the next of kin (his surviving wife). However, pending that permission, I would be willing to allow a member of your staff to read Prof. Quine’s entire chart in my office, and make whatever notes that prove helpful.

As to your query regarding the likelihood that Prof. Quine committed suicide, I can only tell you that he had been under medication for depression for ten months, that his affective disorder was lessening, and that his behavior had improved considerably. I believe that he was progressing well. He never expressed suicidal ideation to me or in his diary. While suicide is always a possibility in the presence of depressive states, I believe that his death was most probably accidental.

If I may be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to call. I of course will be at the inquest on June 10.

I am most sincerely yours,

Dr. Reuven Barnfeldman

Office of the Mantua County Coroner
Runnymeade Courthouse
One Main Street
Runnymeade, MA
Dr. Nelson Craddock

The Coroner’s Office, as a representative of the County of Mantua and of the State of Massachusetts, has heard the sworn testimony of the individuals relevant to the death of Professor Sherwood Quine. The cause of death was blunt and sharp trauma to the victim’s head, chest, lower legs and left hand incurred in a motor vehicle crash. Death was rapid, in all probability, instantaneous from the head trauma.

The deceased’s private psychiatrist, Dr. Reuven Barnfeldman, testified to the long-standing depression which Professor Quine experienced. Dr. Barnfeldman gave as his professional opinion that his patient was making good progress in his psychiatric disease, as evidenced by his making plans for his future, his positive affect and his renewed emotional bond with his wife and children.

Virginia Albans Quine testified to her husband’s emotional state, which she described as "ebullient" and "optimistic." She further stated unequivocally that her husband had never mentioned or hinted at a suicidal thought or feeling.

Officer Robert Sturges, of the Mantua County Police, testified as to his investigation of the scene of acute vehicular divergence. He found no evidence to definitively prove either an accident or a suicide. Skid marks at the scene suggested a sudden loss of control. A flat tire was found to have no puncture wound, which the officer testified was the "universal cause" of sudden loss of vehicular control. The officer’s opinion was that the tire was ruptured by impact with an obstruction during the uncontrolled movement, which would make it an effect of loss of control and not a cause

He testified to the presence of dead animals along the road, from which he concluded that the deceased may well have swerved to avoid a deer or skunk or other animal and lost control of the car.

Having listened to the testimony of all those who were asked to give sworn statements, and after inviting all and any who wished to express their opinion or to present evidence in the matter, the coroner hereby rules that the deceased died by accident.

Ruling is entered on this day, June 10, 1984.

June 3, 1995

dear mom,

you can’t believe how much hassle i went through and how many forms i had to fill out to get dad’s records from the County Courthouse. That nice Mr. Pillani - the lawyer on Old Sinkhouse road? - he made a couple of calls and was very helpful. I’ve enclosed copies of dad’s diary, the police report, the psychiatrist’s letter and the coroner’s report.

mom, it’s been eleven years since dad died and i really believe that you have carried the burden much, much too long. I know that when you were married you felt responsible for dad’s happiness and his unhappiness, but that is just so much junk! you couldn’t "fix" him or "save" him or whatever your catholic guilt led you to try and do, and you know it!

honestly mom, we know now that moods are basically chemical. people with chronic depression suffer from a deficiency in a brain chemical, the same way diabetics are deficient in insulin. that’s why so many people are on these new anti-depressant drugs. maybe if they had better drugs back then he would be alive today.

I really believe that it’s long past the time when you should bear ANY BLAME AT ALL for dad’s death-i don’t believe it was suicide, neither did the coroner. the point is he was trying to get better, and that he couldn’t have done any more than that. none of us can.

i’ve left a bunch of messages with billy’s roommate, but he says that billy spends all his time in the library or out doing field research. if you hear from that rotten brother of mine tell him to call me. collect!

I sent a copy to him too; he was just a kid when dad died, but I think he deserves to know.

love and kisses!

judith.

ps: are you keeping my lilac bush pruned and fed? dad would have a cow if you neglected it.

pps: congratulations on your promotion at the real estate company. I’m so proud of you!

The Possibility of Latent Suicides Masking as Accidental Deaths:

A Statistical Comparison of Depressive States and Sudden Death Scenarios

by William H. Quine

A Thesis Submitted for the degree of Master of Social Psychology

Burgoyne University

Submitted on this date:

unfinished-RC

CASE STUDY #12

MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENT IN A SUDDEN CHOICE SCENARIO

The last case study we will report on is that of a motor vehicle accident (MVA) involving a 51-year old male driving a passenger car late at night on a wet country road. The subject had a long history of depression. He was being treated with any-depressant medication and seeing a psychiatrist. While it is true that at the time of the accident the subject was showing signs of improved emotional functioning, he nonetheless carried a history of despondency into the critical moments that led to his death.

As we found in the preceding eleven case studies, the subject scored below .40 on the DSI-HSC Scale of Happiness and Social Integration, as developed by Saleh and Lombardo (See Table 6).

As we explained in PART I, A THEORETICAL MODEL LINKING DEPRESSION AND ACCIDENTAL DEATH, subjects who score low on the DSI-HSC Scale have a statistically significantly increased risk of death by "accident." Scores of .18-.37, which put them well into the Despair & Social Isolation range (DSI), are typical of this group, while those subjects who score high in Happiness and Social Cohesion (HSC) have a low probability of accidental death.

Case #12 is typical of this group. The subject has a mean DSI score of .21, the third lowest in the study. We found written evidence of subjective despair in the subject’s diary, (See Appendix A, "Diary of a Depressed Subject"). We also referred to anecdotal evidence of a long history of depression in letters from the subject’s daughter (See "Letter from a Daughter"). We also found evidence of depression in a report from the subject’s psychiatrist (See "Psychiatrist Letter.").

It is clear that this individual, like all those with low DSI scores, lacked a strong social cohesive bond. This subject’s only network consisted of students and immediate family. Other than these socially mandated ties, the subject had very little Social Cohesion, and, hence, was socially isolated.

The isolation of this subject fed the feelings of despair and low self esteem, as evidenced in the diary notes, and confirmed by the psychiatrist’s note to the coroner.

In subjects such as these, a positive feedback loop occurs, whereby depression reinforces isolation, isolation reinforces depression, and the two drive the individual down in descending circles of despair.

This analysis is consistent with the reports of Zymenski (1991), Beckwith (1992) and Saleh (1988), and it supports the theoretical model which was first proposed by Saleh and Lombardo in 1986.

These studies have demonstrated that depressed individuals who score low on the DSI/HSC Scale have a statistically significant increase in accidental deaths. There is an inverse relationship between scores and the probability of accidental death, and as the scores lower, the accidental death rate increases.

The Subject Questionnaire developed by Zymenski (Appendix B, "A Survey Tool for Measuring Affective States and Social Bonds," Zymenski, 1989) and modified for our research has allowed us to quantify this emotional and behavioral state, and thus has led to a predictive tool.

Moreover, through our research we have identified a heretofore unreported social-psychological factor in the study of depression and accidental death. This factor, which we have chosen to call "The Altruistic Factor," has proven to be a crucial "trigger" in the complex of emotional states and Sudden-Choice scenarios which we have found consistently lead to accidental death.

Put another way, we believe that persons with a high sense of moral duty and a long pattern of depression and social isolation, are likely to suffer accidental deaths when suddenly and unexpectedly placed in a Sudden-Choice Scenario.

Our research suggests that accidental deaths in the presence of the Risk Factors stated above are most likely to occur in the Sudden-choice scenario. The subject’s decision is sparked by the appearance of a threat to another living thing, be it a person or an animal. In some cases the threat may be to a prized object, such as a family heirloom which is threatened with accidental destruction from fire (Zymenski, 1990) or falling (Tussloe, 1985). Rather than risk injuring or destroying this other living or treasured thing, the subject chooses his/or own death. The primordial drive for self-preservation, which in normal subjects protects them from harming themselves, is overcome by the combination of an inner sense of despair and an outer sense of moral obligation to others.

To put it succinctly, and, indeed, to put it bluntly, depressed people are much more likely to commit spontaneous suicide. We believe the evidence supports the scenario whereby Subject #12 swerved to avoid an animal in the road (See Appendix A, "Report of Motor Vehicle Accident"), knowing that his life would be ended. The fact that the Coroner ruled the death an accident (See Appendix A, Report from a Coroner), only supports the fact that the lay public, as well as the professional therapists and counselors in the field, are ignorant of the prevalence of latent suicide as a terminal event in the depressed individual. An accident, when it involved a choice between the subject’s life versus the life of another person or creature, results in a choice of death which appears to be accidental but which is in fact a Sudden Choice...

july 21, 1997

MOM: You were so great at Jason’s birthday party, I really couldn’t have handled those kids without you. Wasn’t he cute playing musical chairs? Haydon still thinks Jason shouldn’t have given up his chair to Phyllis, but I think it was sweet.

I couldn’t have

done it without

YOU!

I just love how you’re doing mom - I have the clipping from the Runnymeade Reporter on our refrigerator door. You look great in your "Power Outfit" at the real estate office.

And I was so very glad to hear you talking about how dad died. It’s time we all just let it out and let it go. I’m glad you like the therapist. Isn’t Mrs. Duggan wonderful? She just zeroes right in to the core issue and lets you work it out in your own way.

I think that it’s okay if we never know for certain what happened that night with dad, as long as we can talk about him and us and everything.

I just don’t want us to be driven apart by the silence. It’s so deadly! I only wish Billy would open up a little. Do you know what his roommate said to me the last time I called? He said that he’d lived with Billy in the dorm for almost two years and he didn’t know him. Isn’t that sad? I hope he finds someone nice the way I found Haydon. Someone who really listens and can draw him out.

And having kids was the greatest, most life-affirming thing that ever happened to me. I love them so much, but you know what that’s like. Billy hasn’t had that experience yet.

I didn’t mean to end this note on a downer. The party was fun and Jason loves his gift. Send us a post card from Paris, you globe-trotting woman you!

Love from all of us!

Judith & the gang

Instructor Raul Castro
August 12, 1997
Charanjit Chattipodi,
Chairman, Department of Social Psychology
Burgoyne University
Runnymeade, MA

At your request I have thoroughly reviewed the work of Mr. William H. Quine toward his Masters’ Thesis. I feel very strongly that, although the thesis is not completed, his ground-breaking work on the theory that suicide masquerading as accidental death is an under-reported social phenomenon is of such high quality, and the results of his empirical research are of such importance to the academic as well as therapeutic community, that it is only right to award Mr. Quine the MA degree with Honors posthumously. There are several graduate students who could easily complete the final chapter of the thesis, the empirical and theoretical research having been completed, and it could then be published under joint authorship.

In light of this brilliant student’s tragic death by drowning on Willow Lake, where he apparently entered the water in order to save a young girl who had fallen from a jetty and who survived, sadly, by clinging to Mr. Quine’s body until he drowned, I feel that we can best honor his life and his work by awarding him his degree and by publishing his important research.

Certainly, were his father alive today, he would have wanted the award granted his son.

Yours truly,

Raul Castro

Contact the Author - tim.mary@worldnet.att.net